Thursday, December 18, 2014
During my teaching days while checking test papers, one of my lady friends barged into my room. "Hello Joseph, please do me a favor," she asked me with a pitiful look and offering me a 1/4 size of paper. I threw her a quizzical stare. "What's the matter? What this paper for?" She straightened in her seat and replied. "Oh, we will have a Christmas party tonight in the ladies dormitory. We will be exchanging gifts and I have a hard time finding a good pseudonym. Oh please, help me," she begged like a child. I chuckled lightly, looked up the ceiling and scribbled down the first word that came to my mind. I handed her the paper. She examined what I have written and lit up a big smile. She blew me a flying kiss and scampered out of my sight. The next day, I met her at the school lobby. She looked irritated and threw sharp glances at me. I inched closer to her. "Hey, are you mad at me? What have I done to you?" I confronted her. With tight lips and sulking voice, she answered me. "Oh, you made stupid in our party. Everybody was laughing at my pseudonym that you gave me yesterday." She then handed me the folded paper. I opened it and was flustered about what I have jotted down. Unmindfully, I have written ‘COITUS” for her.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Prolapse
The other day, while doing a corrective surgery on a prolapsed cow, one of my lady onlookers innocently asked me while I was busy doing the purse-string suture. "Doctor, is it the same procedure too in humans?" I turned to her and replied truthfully. "Ugh, I have never done it in women!"
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Saturday, November 22, 2014
The Man and his Sick Dog
This morning at the clinic, my veterinary assistant ushered in a middle-aged man with his white, bony dog. He smiled at me coyly. I returned the gesture and offered him a seat while I readied the consultation form. After the history-taking, I proceeded to the examination table to get the dog’s vital signs. As I was about to take the dog’s temperature, he stood up, held my hand and said with a pleading eyes and shaky voice. “Doctor, I want to be honest with you. I don’t have a single penny to pay you. I just can’t stand looking at my sick pet doing nothing to relieve his malady. He is like a brother to me. For the whole week, I sat early in my shop in the street, hoping I could fetch the money for my dog’s treatment. Unluckily, I managed only a single shoe repair.” I was totally stunned. I was not prepared to hear a supplication like that. But I could feel the honesty of the man and felt his love for his dog. I nodded my head, and replied. “Oh, it was great of you to care of your dog. I will treat your dog for free.” I could see the tears swelling in his eyes as he repeatedly thanked me. After medicating the dog, he bid me a good day. As the pair were about to leave, the man turned to me and said, “Doctor, if ever you have damaged shoes, please bring them all to me and I will stitch them for free!”
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
The Dog in the Road
The other week, when I was about to cross the
other lane, I screeched to a halt. Lying in the middle of the road was a
full-grown canine, motionless, and with blood splattered around its lifeless
body. Though I am sure the dog was dead, but it was a moving sight seeing it
being mangled into pieces by merciless, passing tires. Should I embark and drag
it to the side of the road? I have my second thoughts. I may be sideswiped
by the rushing vehicles. But I am a vet. However, I fear for my safety and I have my
two sons in the back seat for an early morning rush drive to school. After much
thought, I started the engine and looked at the side mirror when I passed by the
poor dog. I was too conscience-stricken. I lost the nerve and time to attend to its
proper disposal.
Repair Man
While waiting at the counter paying for our groceries in a local mall with my wife, I was accidentally bumped from behind by a grocery cart. I looked back and met a terrified pair of eyes of a young girl. I offered a reassuring smile while she sought safety in the arms of a middle-aged woman who followed her. I nodded warmly to her lady companion and waited again for my turn in the line. Just then I overheard the little girl saying with a hushed voice. "Mommy, is that the dog vagina repairman? I guess he was the one who fixed Trixie's a month ago!"
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Monday, November 17, 2014
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Saturday, November 8, 2014
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